A Guide For Prospective Tea Monks
Inspired by Becky Chamber's Monk & Robot Series
On the 8th January of this year I met with the Bristol Utopian Book Collective, where we discussed ‘A Psalm For The Wild Built’ by Becky Chambers. It was the second time I'd read the book, and I got carried away with my thoughts and ended up writing a guide to the fictional role of a Tea Monk offering Tea Service freely to others, as the protagonist of her novella does.
Tea Monk Origins
‘Old people, young people. Everybody needed a cup of tea sometimes. Just an hour or two to sit and do something nice, and then they could get back to whatever it was.’1
What if you simply sat with a stranger, sharing a pot of tea and an ear willing to listen to their thoughts and troubles? Imagine how much good might come from such a simple exchange of tea and sympathy. If only this service had been offered when you needed it, when you were feeling a little lonely, or maybe even just wanting to share a positive human moment, just to know that there was someone else who cared and might understand you.
On the planet of Panga2 this service is offered by Tea Monks, who travel from village to city, set up their kettle and teapot, and pick the ideal tea blends for bringing warmth and comfort to anyone who stops to spend time with them. Becky Chamber's Monk & Robot series of novellas3 tells of the journey of one such monk, Sibling Dex, who suddenly one day feels called to this pursuit, and how they discover themselves in the process, especially when they encounter an intelligence unlike any they've met before, which is also seeking for greater understanding.
Tea Service is different from what is on offer at cafes, social clubs, charities and church social events. It is providing company and refreshment to people outside in public squares, parks, and along busy thoroughfares. This is someone freely sharing their time and tea, and relying on the good will of those around them to get by. It is an idea that could work on Earth in reality, with some adjustments, just as it does on the fictional Panga.
So this guide has been created with the assumption that there could be a role for such a service on this planet, perhaps there has been some contact between Panga and Earth that inspired it, or maybe someone like me just read Chamber's story, and thought, ‘that sounds like a good idea, I wonder how that might work here?’ This is intended to look into that possibility, and what it would take on our world.
Pangan Tea Monk Duties
‘Everybody knew what a Tea Monk did, and so Dex wasn’t too worried about getting started. Tea service wasn’t anything arcane. People came to the wagon with their problems and left with a fresh-brewed cup. Dex had taken respite in tea parlours plenty of times, as everyone did, and they’d read plenty of books about the particulars of the practice. Endless electronic ink had been spilled over the old tradition, but all of it could be boiled down to listen to people, give tea. Uncomplicated as could be.’
A monk is usually someone who focuses on living a simple life, devoted to a noble cause. Various religious traditions have some form of monasticism, sometimes in which its members shut themselves away from the world and spend their lives in quiet contemplation, but in other traditions they might occupy their days in acts of service, and even travel to different places, wherever they are needed.
Panga's Tea Monks, even though they follow a spiritual tradition, act independently, go where they want to, enjoy the comforts available to them, and are free to form relationships as they wish. When they arrive at a new place and have made camp they begin a new day by setting up their equipment and chairs, and making themselves available for any who might wish to stop and spend time with them.
Those they serve, by simply befriending and making tea for, are not required to believe anything, or to give anything in return for the service they receive. This service isn't limited to just tea, and their mission is not to convert, but to comfort, uplift, and aid others. However, they aren't required to serve anyone or do anything they don't feel comfortable doing either, as the discernment of who and where they help is left up to them.
The Tea Monk is a brewmaster, confidante, emotional support, and - where they feel capable of being so - a counsellor. They try to pick the ideal tea blends for the person they are spending time with, a skill and art developed over time, and it may not always be something they get right, so people can make requests of what they like too.
Why Be A Tea Monk?
‘“I’m changing my vocation,” Sibling Dex said. “I’m going to the villages to do Tea Service.”
Sister Mara, who had been in the middle of slathering a golden piece of toast with as much jam as it could structurally support, held her spoon still and blinked. “That’s rather sudden.”
“For you,” Dex said. “Not for me.”
“Okay,” Sister Mara said, for her duties as Keeper were simply to oversee, not to dictate. This was a modern monastery, not some rule-locked hierarchy like the pre-Transition clergy of old. If Sister Mara knew what was up with the monks under their shared roof, her job was satisfied. “Do you want an apprenticeship?”
“No,” Dex said. Formal study had its place, but they’d done that before, and learning by doing was an equally valid path. “I want to self-teach.”’
Although our world has a long history with tea, and even several cultural traditions unique to the serving of it, our planet has no concept of a Tea Service similar to the one in the ‘Monk & Robot’ books. What makes it different is an open and free invitation for conversation with strangers. Most other forms of tea brewing and drinking are for family, friends or customers.
There isn't yet the infrastructure to train, supply, and support someone wanting to be a Tea Monk on Earth. If someone wants to take on such a role they do it under their own responsibility, and are responsible for organising everything needed. Yet there are still many good reasons someone might want to be a Tea Monk here:
They like the idea of being there for others who are seeking company and perhaps some kindness.
They love tea and would like to share their favourite and develop new blends for others to try out.
They would like to make new friends, especially outside of the usual people they interact with.
They would like to visit different places, not as a passive observer, but offer something of themselves and to be of service to those they meet.
They believe that kindness is infectious, that it perpetuates, and multiplies, and want to do their part in helping that process.
It sounds like fun.
There is no formal training to being a Tea Monk4, perhaps if the world was full of them a person could take part in an apprenticeship (or novitiate), being mentored by someone seasoned in the process. Or maybe there could be a home course of study and practice, to help develop their skills and prepare them for what they might expect. But Sibling Dex didn't wait for training, they learnt through their mistakes, and it wasn't long before they were competent.
The chief personal qualities you most need to be a Tea Monk are: sincerity, patience, and determination. You need to be motivated to do it when it isn't easy (when the kettle doesn't work or the weather isn't in your favour). You need patience with yourself for your own imperfections and for the foibles of others who you meet (some of whom may be unreceptive or rude). And you need determination to keep trying until you get it right (or as near as anyone ever does).
Ultimately the most important skill is listening, even ahead of the process of tea making. Listening can be a skill, especially active listening, taking an intense interest, remembering what you've been told, and asking questions - where and when appropriate - can also be an art. Some people will just want to chat, they may be as interested in you as you are in them, and the question of why you are offering them free tea is a great way to start a conversation.
If you have any training in the therapeutic field it could be very helpful to those seeking emotional support. Many people may not have access to such skills (due to lack of money or opportunity or fear). But the modern world and its demands and distractions can be very isolating, and the opportunity to just have someone offering to listen can be a very valuable one, and is something you don't need any qualifications to do. You can always recommend further help if someone else shares specific problems that are outside of your expertise or experience, and be of value in this way too.
Speaking & Sipping Tea With Strangers
‘Ms. Jules’s curls retained their frizz, but as she took the mug, something in her face started to let go, as if her features were held in place by strings that had been waiting months to loosen. “Thank you,” she said sincerely, taking out her pocket computer with her free hand. She tapped the screen; Dex’s chimed in response, and they nodded in gratitude. … Ms. Jules took her tea to the comfy cushions, and—in what looked like it might be the first time that day—sat down. She closed her eyes and let out a tremendous sigh. Her shoulders visibly slumped. She’d always had the ability to relax them; she’d just needed permission to do so.’
At some point all of our friends were strangers, maybe we were in the same class or workplace, went to the same event, or we went out of our way to meet up with those who shared a similar interest. Some lose their friends (or at least regular time with them) through moving for education, a job or a relationship. Others have family and friends they are close to in some areas but have parts of themselves or their lives they aren't comfortable sharing with others. Sometimes we'd love the chance to share or ask about something we aren't sure about, without judgement, or to just imagine aloud a different possibility for part of our life. A Tea Monk is in a wonderful position to provide a valuable service as a listener in such situations.
Luckily for those unsure of how to start a conversation, the very act of offering Tea Service automatically gives the Tea Monk and tea recipient something to talk about. ‘What kind of tea do you like?’ ‘What brings you to [wherever you are] today?’ Small talk is the best gateway into substantive and meaningful conversation, it's importance can't be overlooked.5 They'll probably ask why you are there (there may be as many reasons as there are Tea Monks), and this gives you the perfect chance to explain your hopes for your interaction with them. If I were to give my own reason it might be something like:
‘I'm here because I love people and I like tea. There are times I wished I could just sit for a while, chat with someone about what was on my mind, for them to be interested in what I had to say, and perhaps they'd share some of their thoughts too (if they wanted to). Tea Monks like me have some time free, share their tea freely, and feel they are able to be of use by listening, conversing, and sometimes counselling. Some travel far and wide, some do it full time, some have the means to support themselves and others - like myself - rely on the kindness of strangers to be able to offer this service. I have a few hours free today, enough hot water for a few pots of tea, and an interest in people, and what they have to share and in helping them. So ... what kind of tea can I make for you today?’
Then you can move on to other subjects. ‘Has anything been on your mind lately you'd like to share?’ ‘Is there anything you've been wondering about?’ ‘How is your week going?’ Open-ended questions give the opportunity for the other person to share their thoughts and feelings, and if they feel you are interested and invested in what they have to say, then they are inclined to open up more.
There are various books on the art of conversation, starting them, listening, responding and engaging with other people. The Power of Strangers by Joe Keohane is one I found interesting, as was You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy, but many others can be found by searching the web for books on listening, conversation, and connecting with people.
However, you should remember that you are not listening to wait to just talk about yourself or to give your own opinion. You may get those chances, but if you are not careful, you might interrupt your guest opening up to you. It can be easy to get carried away with excitement and dominate the conversation. Resist this. You'll learn when it's good to share that you feel the same, or that have had a similar experience. At the right time this can help show you have listened, but you are first and foremost there for them. Instead it's the time to show understanding and kindness: ‘it sounds like that was really painful’, ‘it's not wrong to feel that way’, or ‘how do you feel about it now?’
There is nothing wrong with such a meeting being the beginning of a continuing friendship, but make them aware that you may be travelling on (if that's the case), and - as with any relationship, platonic or otherwise - set reasonable expectations, and let them know where you expect your path in life to lead you, especially when it might mean not seeing them again.
Don't forget that you are not a trained therapist (unless you are). You may wish to clarify this if the conversation veers into more serious emotional matters, and if someone needs professional and ongoing therapy encourage them to get additional help. You may need to pull back if you find someone's mental state makes it too challenging to engage in a clear conversation with them, but they may still wish to enjoy the company, and have the feeling of being listened to (unless you fear that even listening may be harming them or encouraging dangerous behaviour).
If someone shares with you that they are in danger, advise them to seek whatever safety and services are available to them. You may wish to acquaint yourself with local charities beforehand to be ready to be of help. If someone seems to be a danger or has hurt others, you are under no religious or legal requirement to keep it to yourself, if you think doing so may endanger someone.
It has often been said that if people are to get along that they should avoid speaking about politics and religion. However, these may be precisely what the tea guest may wish to speak about, perhaps as the source of their frustrations, or one of the complications in their life they have to navigate. Their lives are not yours, what would work for you might not for them, and they may value things you do not. If you find their views too offensive to deal with, for example if they are determined to try and convert you, then you can part peacefully with them. But it is up to you how much you indulge certain topics, keeping in mind that it is better to meet and build from views you share in common, and so that is usually the best starting point when trying to understand and work with someone who may see the world differently.
Tea Service
‘And so they worked through the line, filling mugs and listening carefully and blending herbs on the fly when the situation called for it. The mat was soon full of people. Pleasant chatter naturally drifted along here and there, but most folks kept to themselves. Some read books on their computers. Some slept. A few cried, which was normal. Their fellow tea-drinkers offered shoulders for this; Dex provided handkerchiefs and refills as needed.
Mx. Weaver, one of Inkthorn’s council members, was the last to arrive that day. “No tea for me, thanks,” they said as they approached the table. “I come bearing an invite to dinner at the common house tonight. The hunting crew brought in a great big buck this morning, and we’ve got plenty of wine to go around.”
“I’d love to,” Dex said. Gifted meals were one of the nicer perks of their work, and an elk roast was nothing they’d pass on, ever. “What’s the occasion?”
“You,” Mx. Weaver said simply.
Dex blinked with surprise. “You’re joking.”
“No, seriously. We knew from your schedule that you’d be doing service here today, and we wanted to do something special to say thanks for”—Mx. Weaver gestured at the contented group lounging on Dex’s cushions—“y’know, what you bring to this town.”
Dex was flattered, to say the least, and unsure of what to do with a compliment like that. “It’s just my vocation,” Dex said, “but that means a lot, really. Thank you. I’ll be there.”
Mx. Weaver shrugged and smiled. “Least we can do for the best Tea Monk in Panga.”’
Tea is the most popular drink consumed in the world, equaling all others – including coffee, soft drinks, and alcohol – combined. For many it is associated with relaxing, with home, and can be a source of reassuring comfort by itself, but especially when enjoying it with others.
A Tea Monk must know how to make tea. A tea bag in a cup with hot water poured on it is a start, but there are many variations on even this simple setup. You can practise by yourself or with friends, trying different blends and additions for variations in flavour and aroma. The process will depend largely on the tea traditions of the culture you live in.6 In England or North America the basics can be mastered pretty easily and a good cup of tea produced reliably every time, but in other countries it may be a more involved and complicated process.
The Japanese tea ceremony is the most complex of all, although the Chinese and Koreans have their own similar traditions, which come in several variations for different occasions. It might be a good goal to ultimately be able to master it, as it will draw people who are fascinated with it’s ceremonial nature, and would undoubtedly be very memorable for those who have never experienced it before. But it is not necessary to learn such a ceremony beforehand, as it could get in the way of conversation if you are too focused on the minutiae of the process. It might be ideal if the focus is peaceful contemplation, yet not so much if a person is eager to get something off their chest.
The typical British routine is simple but still has its own symbolism. It begins with offering to make a cup of tea for another person, in doing so you are offering to be of service, to help them find refreshment. Then you ask them about their preferences, which shows them they aren't just giving them you want to cater for their tastes. ‘Milk or lemon?’ ‘Cow, oat or almond?’ ‘Sugar or honey?’ ‘Weak or strong?’ ‘Rich Tea or digestive?’ (Or any number of the many biscuits designed for dunking). Tea may come in a beautiful china cup (second hand / charity stores are often full of them) or a mug, handed to them directly or on a saucer. It might be loose leaf and poured from a teapot, or a tea bag straight into the cup. They may grasp the cup or hold it lightly on the handle and extend their pinky (as Brits seem genetically inclined to do). But once it is in their hands it is theirs to enjoy, until you offer to refill or they return it to you.
The International Standards Organisation has its own guide for making the perfect cup of tea7, as does the Royal Chemistry Society8, and many people have strong opinions on the proper way to make it like those given by George Orwell,9 while others such as John Lennon stuck to a common milky sugary brew (two spoonfuls).10 Some people have strong views about whether the milk goes first (if used at all), and how long the tea should steep (brew) for, so it is better to ask the recipient their preference. It shows consideration to make someone their tea just the way they like it.
Over time you may want to learn more about the history of tea so you have little interesting facts and stories to share. Below are some books on Tea Making you may want to consider, as well as some on the history of the tea leaf:11
There are many medicinal claims made for tea, some of which seem to be supported by science, and many others that are more dubious. Unless you are a doctor however you should shy away from telling people that drinking tea will cure anything, except bringing warmth on a cold day (or an iced / cold brewed tea being refreshing on a hot one). You are generally safe to say - ‘some find this tea to be a pick-me-up’, or ‘some say this helps them calm their nerves’, but the tea is primarily a means to creating an opportunity to sit and talk and rest.
Tea Ideology & Spirituality
‘Dex stared for a moment, then set their plate on the ground. “What do humans need? is an unanswerable question. That changes from person to person, minute to minute. We can’t predict our needs, beyond the base things we require to survive. It’s like…” They pointed to their wagon. “It’s like my teas.”
“Your teas.”
“Yes. I give them to people based on whatever kind of comfort they need, in that moment.”
Something akin to epiphany blossomed on the robot’s face. “You’re a tea monk. A disciple of Allalae.”
“Yep.”
“You’re not just Dex, you’re Sibling Dex. Ah, I apologize!” Mosscap pointed to the wagon. “These symbols—I should’ve realized.” It quickly stood and walked over to study the mural. …’
This guide has so far made no presumptions of a person's beliefs in anything spiritual, or of anyone's ideals (beyond wishing to be kind), but for some being a Tea Monk may be a spiritual journey, an internal pilgrimage, or part of a process of emotional and mental catharsis.12
From my reading of the ‘Monk & Robot’ series I concluded that the six gods of Panga were not meant to be literal, that like the Greek gods they represent qualities within people, as well as ideals to aspire to. To me the lack of divine revelation or miracles suggests this, and the diversity of interpretation of religious principles would tend to indicate against a strict hierarchical form of religion.13
Whether you follow a particular religious tradition or none, the service you offer is for all people and (in our Earthly example) is not religious in itself. If someone expresses a shared religious belief there is nothing stopping you expressing your agreement, but a Tea Monk doesn't preach or proselyte, beyond the basic concepts of empathy, comfort and support. However, there is a sort of ideology attached to being a Tea Monk, which is this:
It presumes a certain goodness or potential for goodness in people.
It presumes that a person can be a good influence on someone else.
It presumes that people don't need to be told what to do / be coerced to do good by some other person or power.
It presumes that there is value in being kind beyond any recognition or recompense.
It presumes that people can organise themselves and interact with others without hierarchy being part of the process.
Service Beyond The Tea Table
‘The road from the Woodlands led to the road to the Coastlands, which led to the Riverlands, which led to the Shrublands, and back to the Woodlands once more.
Dex made their circuit again, and again, and again, and every stop they made, they found gratitude, gifts, goodwill. The crowds got bigger, the dinners more frequent. The blends Dex served became a little more creative every time. As far as the life of a Tea Monk went, this was about as successful as could be.’
Remember that people have practical needs too, although these often can be connected to emotional ones, and sometimes the best way to free someone from their worries is to address the practical solvable thing that is worrying them. But you have to be careful, because many things are not changeable and most things (especially people) are beyond your control, and people often need the emotional side addressed first, but may be too proud to accept help.
Helping with cleaning, gardening, shopping, and maybe even entertaining, or any area where you have a skill or talent to share, can make a tremendous difference in someone's life and toward their emotional health. Even where there isn't a related emotional challenge, the solidarity and comradeship of helping someone practically can be a very positive contribution to their life.
Wherever you go there will probably always be the potential to serve others in many ways, for example by helping out at food pantries or pay what you want at cafes etc. (they may be able to give you a pot to perform your Tea Service too), or helping out with local charities and refuges. If you are at a loss as to what you can do you may want to seek out your local Anarchists, if you want to find a secular group involved in this, or contact local socially-liberal churches that may run such programmes.
If you are unsure whether you will be doing good ask yourself, ‘am I contributing to this person's well being?’, ‘am I respecting their choices and dignity while supporting them?’, ‘am I helping the community?’, or ‘am i just cheap labour?’ (which may be good if you need the money, and could give you an opportunity to get to know locals and speak to them, but might divert you from your purpose if it becomes the main focus).
If you have taken some training in first aid you'll be a good person to help in an emergency, if you are strong you can carry heavy stuff, if you understand a topic very well you might find chances to share what you know. But if you don't think you have any skills or talents you will probably find some you didn't know you had along the way, and if you don't have what a person needs practically (like money or food), you can still always offer any sympathy, empathy or understanding if have been through something similar, and tea and company if you haven't.
Of course the concept of Tea Service would work for other kinds of drinks and foodstuffs, but tea is especially suited and associated for relaxing and sharing, if you have the extra room you could always carry some free books to lend or give, or some more practical items to give away.
There is nothing to stop you doing good in other ways wherever you wander. However, you may want to make a distinction between your role as a Tea Monk and your personal views and actions. Having said this, just giving tea away may be seen as a political act by some, or as a service which economically undermines other systems, so escaping from such judgements (from the particularly judgemental) may be unavoidable.
I suppose that if Tea Monkery took off then there would be a web site on which you could track where Tea Monks were in the world, and a forum for them to support and encourage each other. The training materials would definitely need to get better than this short guide, and maybe seasoned Tea Monks could offer apprenticeships, or there could be an opportunity for sponsorships. Maybe pop up or even permanent tea parlours might be created in bigger cities where people could drop in. But I'd like to envision a future world where all tea will ultimately be free, followed by free food, and then free housing too, and in which kindness was the currency instead of money.
Continue On To Part Two
If you liked this you might also like an excerpt from the book:
All quotes from Becky Chambers, ‘A Psalm for the Wild-Built’, unless otherwise indicated.
The story is not set on Earth, at least not the Earth as we know it now.
A Psalm For The Wild Built, 2021, Winner of the 2022 Hugo Award for Best Novella & A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, 2022, Winner of the 2023 Nebula & Locus Award for Best Novella.
You are under no obligation to use the title of Tea Monk, especially in some cultures where it may create an impediment, although alternatively it could provide a chance to explain its origins. An alternative might be Tea Companion or Mindful Brewmaster.
If all else fails to get the conversation started, remember that the British always seem willing and capable of talking about the weather, they are often looking forward to vacations, and are happy to complain about public transport, but sometimes lack the outlet for deeper conversations.
Other books you may also wish to consider include:
Tea Sommelier: A Step-by-Step Guide
A History of Tea: The Life and Times of the World's Favourite Beverage
Wild Tea: Brew Your Own Infusions from Home-grown and Foraged Ingredients
Growing Your Own Tea Garden: The Guide to Growing and Harvesting Flavorful Teas in Your Backyard
A Tea Witch's Grimoire: Magickal Recipes for Your Tea Time
Tea For Dummies
As an atheist I wouldn't use the words religious or spiritual to personally describe myself. I live in a very secular country, albeit one with a very religious history, but I have seen very positive examples of religious service (and very negative examples of religious dogma and coercion). Yet I have seen inspiring kindness shown by Christians, Muslims, and Pagans, and recognise that even a non-believer like me often follows an ethical philosophy which helps guide their life.
Some have found religious inspiration within the books - see https://theafictionado.wordpress.com/2022/09/08/the-cosy-theology-of-monk-and-robot/
If you're looking for places to enjoy a tea service like this do a google search for "Gong Fu Cha" or "Chinese Loose Leaf Tea" in your area. You'd be surprised :)
If you're interested in walking this path I also recommend checking out Youtube for videos on the practice of service tea (I find Tea House Ghost, West China Tea, and Wu Mountain Tea to be great knowldge dumps and resources).